Episode 11 — The Element Of Surprise
Halloween is one of the strangest days of the year, it seems. It seems to beckon people of all ages to participate, even though the standard trick or treating tradition belongs mainly to the youngsters.
It is a night that folks enjoy attending parties, dances, and…for some, visiting the local cemetery. Without fail, our cemetery has its share of spirit-seekers and ghost-whisperers every All Hallow’s Eve.
Mr. B leaves town on a two-week vacation this time every year and in the past, some pranksters took their “fun” to a new level, vandalizing things at the cemetery on this holiday. He therefore dreads Halloween, hoping his cemetery men take extra precautions to secure things before they go home. CJ volunteered to be the graveyard guardian and this was fine by him. She laughs and explains that she is a spirit of the least expected kind. Each year she strives to improve upon her ‘element of surprise’ that she will “spring” on the unwary trespassers. Scaring the crap out of them is so much fun!
The cemetery hours are posted at the big gate, stating that after- dark visitors are considered trespassers, and are subject to removal by owner or the local sheriff. There is a ‘walk-through’ gate for pedestrians, which still allows access into the graveyard. The only people who seem to be attracted to the place on this night of the year are teens. As in most towns across the U.S., there is at least one tragic teen death every year, typically victims of car accidents, unfortunately. That grave is the destination of our after-hours visitors, on this eve. The scenario, like the group, is usually very predictable. There will be five or six kids, decked out in sneakers and hoodies, each will bring candles or incense, and somebody might even have a little pot to share or some booze, an Ouija board, perhaps. Oh, and the creepy ghost stories, too.
Whether to conjure the dead teen’s spirit or present merely on a dare, there will be at least that little group. But, they don’t wait until the witching hour of twelve, they come a lot earlier. CJ looks forward to this night with great anticipation. She waits for them behind the groundskeeper’s shed, by the crematory building. She totes her half-million candle-power spotlight, and her pepper spray, just in case these folks aren’t just the normal harmless high schoolers she has come to expect. Then, she waits.
This time, she plans to make some low moans, maybe drag her feet over the leaves and gravel, from a point behind one of the large trees, but close enough to be heard. Once the kids are settled and the candles are lit, a short time elapses, then all is very still and quiet. The group is sitting around the grave holding hands and chanting in a hushed tone, like a séance is about to begin. CJ notices the pungent telltale odor of incense… lighter flicks in the darkness. NOW is the time! They have lit up a joint…she drags her feet…moans, drags some more. Someone in the group hears it. They drop their hands, and the low chanting ceases. Someone giggles nervously. CJ repeats the foot drags and decides to exhale loudly from her throat. She can see the heads turning and looking all about for the source of the odd noise. It is pitch black. CJ stealthily tiptoes from behind her hiding place…just a few yards away. Then…when she is directly behind them, SNAPS on the spotlight while simultaneously and loudly asking, “HEY! WHAT DO YOU KIDS THINK YOU ARE DOING HERE?! CAN’T YOU READ? Hours here to visit are OVER! I got your license plate number(s) and if anything, ANYTHING at ALL is out of place or disturbed, your parents will receive a call in the morning! “
By that point, the kids are freaking out and dazed by the blazing bright light beam , knocking the candles over, dropping the joint, and scrambling to their feet, some have already broken into a dead run for the front gate…heehee, a ‘dead run,’ clever. So much fun she almost pees herself she is laughing so hard!
Inside her pocket, I DID pee myself…and pooped, too! So another Halloween comes to a close. Time to take it on home; it has been a long day. Hope she does not get mad about my little mess…