GRIEF: Will It Always Hurt So Much?

sepia bench

 

So many who mourn the loss of a loved one feel a certain concern about the duration of time the pain of this grief actually lasts. How many grains of sand lie upon the beach?

Depending on your personal relationship with the special person you are grieving, it is of our most humble and extremely limited  personal experience, that the Mouse and I have decided to give our own simple answer today.

 

 

**Relationship Strength:                                            Always Hurt?

VERY CLOSELY BONDED TO DECEASED                YES

 

DURATION OF HURT OR LONGING?                 FOREVER

 

EASE OR LESSEN OVER TIME?             Definite Maybe

HOW MUCH TIME?                               unknown

 

 

 

All others, please adjust according to degree of attachment. These are not scientific or tested estimates…results will vary among each individual, as each loss is unique, and around each loss WE have unique needs which are left void due to the loss. We also believe the further removed or lesser attached you are, the less likely the pain and duration, if any, to this loss. This is based on the degree of your investment, that degree to which you will be affected by the loss.

 **Good rule of thumb to remember:

No investment made =  No loss actualized

 

No amount of money, fortune, or fame will change your result or ease the suffering of grief. No bargaining, begging, or level of ignoring it will change the core of it, either.

 

We wish to apologize about any vagueness or lack of clarity.  That’s the best we can offer. We hope this can be helpful in some small way.  Perhaps it helps MORE just to know that there are so many people just like YOU, who grieve, and cry in longing for a much-loved and sorely missed cherished one. We wish comfort for you.

 

We would like to end the thought of our post today with a video we had bookmarked and re-discovered in our junk folders on the home pc. Certainly not “junk” by any stretch. Just a brother’s reflection and true emotion, as he speaks of the loss of his cherished brothers, who together all happened to become worldwide music legends, beloved by millions, CJ notwithstanding.

 

 

Peace and comforting hugs to our friends, one and all.

 

xxx CJ  and Morguie xxx

 

©2014, C.S. Thompson.

04/22/2014

2 Responses to “GRIEF: Will It Always Hurt So Much?”

  1. As ever you’re both quite right. The formula can never be clearer than you present it because each one is totally different and depends on person and circumstances.
    I can say that I suffered the pain of loss probably for the old prescribed period of a year and a day. That is followed by a period of guilt that those emotions of loss have subsided a bit. But, the fact is that maybe I don’t mourn every day now but I do think of her and still talk to her every day. I think the pain comes or goes according to acceptance.
    I don’t know your own circumstances CJ but I hope they are limited experiences as you say and that you have made recovery ( and Mousie of course) as sometimes, too much experience of this can be overwhelming. I hope you have someone there for comfort.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

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    • Thanks for sharing such a personal point of view, David. We have been a little behind in making the rounds in our reading lately…CJ has had some ‘issues’ of her own; seems she is struggling with grief on a few levels in her life right now. I suppose it’s more of a ‘mid-life’ thing…she IS getting really close to that half-century mark now, you know. She tends to ruminate much and think too much at times. For now she is coming around…but we know it’s there..lurking under the surface. The grief of things undone, or things done badly. Things that really can’t be fixed. The moving on part can be so hard, can’t it? Sending you the warmest of all whisker rubs for both of us xxxmousiexxx

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