Crackers and Bits: Polar Bear Hunting
Hi there everyone! Did you miss us? We were down with that nasty flu, but we feel better and we’re baaaaack!!!
Morguie: We sure missed all of you. Whatever you do, don’t catch the flu! Catch a ball, or better yet, catch yourself a polar bear!
CJ: Mousie, you have finally gone completely nuts! I would bet 99.9% of our readers have no need to know how to catch a polar bear! You are so silly!
Morguie: Hah! You don’t know for a fact, that, RIGHT now, somewhere, someone in our fantastic GLOBAL audience isn’t wondering how he or she is going to set about getting that pesky polar bear caught!
I take umbrage with your assertion!
CJ: My goodness! Such big words from such a small mouse! Umbrage?
Morguie: Go ahead, make fun…meanwhile, I will deliver this handy tip that is easy to remember, just in case, someone has a polar bear problem needing quick action. Better to be safe than sorry. I intend to be armed with knowledge…what’s your plan, CJ?
CJ: Okay Mousie, I will humor you…tell me then, how would I go about catching the non-existent, but very annoying polar bear, the one that doesn’t seem to be roaming my neighborhood?
You know, just in case…
Morguie: Well first, you have to go out onto the ice and cut a big, round hole. Then, you get a can of peas…
CJ: WAIT! What?! Okay, I am calling the folks over at the Macadamia Ranch. They need to come and get you. What in the world, are you proposing to do with the can of peas?
Everyone knows polar bears hate canned peas!
Haha! I got it! Tell polar bears to give peas a chance?!
Morguie: Are you quite done yet?
CJ: Sorry, go ahead. Okay, I have the canned peas and I have the hole cut into the ice…now what?
Morguie: You spoon the peas out onto the ice — around the hole’s edge, then you hide and wait.
CJ: Okay…how long should I wait? (Sure hope not as long as it is taking to learn about catching polar bears, sheesh!)
Morguie: It’s real easy after that. You just wait until you see the polar bear taking a pea….
…then you jump out and kick him in the ice-hole!!
And that is how you catch a polar bear.
Have a wonderful day and thanks so much for coming by!
© C. S. Thompson, 2015.