Archive for the Crackers and Bits Category

Crackers and Bits: Polar Bear Hunting

Posted in Animals, Comedy, Crackers and Bits, Fiction, Humor, Musing, Pet peeves and annoyances, polar bears with tags , on April 5, 2015 by Morguie

lemmling_Cartoon_mouse_on_top_of_a_cheese

Hi there everyone! Did you miss us? We were down with that nasty flu, but we feel better and we’re baaaaack!!!

Morguie: We sure missed all of you. Whatever you do, don’t catch the flu!  Catch a ball, or better yet, catch yourself a polar bear!

polarbear

PESKY, ANNOYING POLAR BEAR

 

CJ: Mousie, you have finally gone completely nuts! I would bet  99.9% of our readers have no need to know how to catch a polar bear! You are so silly!

Morguie: Hah! You don’t know for a fact, that, RIGHT now, somewhere, someone in our fantastic GLOBAL audience isn’t wondering how he or she is going to set about getting that pesky polar bear caught!

I take umbrage with your assertion!

 

I am a fuzzy lovable Polar Bear. I LOVE your POOL!

I am a fuzzy lovable Polar Bear. I LOVE your POOL! I WILL COME AND SWIM EVERYDAY!

CJ:  My goodness! Such big words from such a small mouse! Umbrage?

Morguie: Go ahead, make fun…meanwhile, I will deliver this handy tip that is easy to remember, just in case, someone has a polar bear problem needing quick action. Better to be safe than sorry. I intend to be armed with knowledge…what’s your plan, CJ?

standingPolBear

I am a BIG, BAD POLAR BEAR! I AM GOING TO VISIT C J –because she DOESN’T have a plan.  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

CJ: Okay Mousie, I will humor you…tell me then, how would I go about catching the non-existent, but very annoying polar bear, the one that doesn’t seem to be roaming my neighborhood?

You know, just in case…

Morguie: Well first, you have to go out onto the ice and cut a big, round hole. Then, you get a can of peas…

 

HOLE

HOLE — ask your mom or dad to help you with that , okay, kids?

 

 

 

CJ: WAIT! What?! Okay, I am calling the  folks over at the Macadamia Ranch. They need to come and get you. What in the world, are you proposing to do with the can of peas?

 

Everyone knows polar bears hate canned peas!

 

Haha! I got it! Tell polar bears to give peas a chance?! 

 

Hmmm. WHAT HAVE WE HERE? Aha! PEAS!!

POLAR BEAR…GIVING PEAS A CHANCE, of course.

 

Morguie: Are you quite done yet?

 

cropped-mousieoutdoorsn-e1396872036787.jpg

CJ: Sorry, go ahead. Okay,  I have the canned peas and I have the hole cut into the ice…now what?

Morguie: You spoon the peas out onto the ice — around the hole’s edge, then you hide and wait.

BIGpolarbr

 

 

 

CJ: Okay…how long should I wait?  (Sure hope not as long as it is taking to learn about catching polar bears, sheesh!)

Morguie: It’s real easy after that. You just wait until you see the polar bear taking a pea….

 

 

PolarbearLICK

EWWWW!! TASTES LIKE PEAS!!! I JUST HATE PEAS!!

 

 

…then you jump out and kick him in the ice-hole!!

the kickisGOOD

polarbearlaff

VERY FUNNY!

 

And that is how you catch a polar bear.

😛

Have a wonderful day and thanks so much for coming by!

bloodyheadbang

© C. S. Thompson, 2015.

Crackers and Bits: Sick

Posted in Comedy, Crackers and Bits, Fun and Entertainment, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Truth, Video Clips with tags on January 31, 2015 by Morguie

 

 

mousieengraved.jpg

C J  has been quite under the weather this whole week.  However, she has a very sweet man who takes good care of her. Nobody here resembles the couple in the clip…I don’t think so….

 

Here is a humorous look at the “Weird Things Couples Do” series…

Of course…what they do when they are sick…enjoy!  See you soon!

Thanks again for coming by…it was great to see you!

xxx Morguie xxx

 

 

 

Be good all of you as you venture off to enjoy the big Super Bowl festivities going on all around.

Designate a driver! 

No fighting with your spouses, either!  Just have a great, fun day!

(We hate the ‘Bloody Sunday’ sidenote and domestic violence stats attached to Super Sunday 😦  )

(We know that NONE of YOU would do that, anyway)

the kickisGOOD

 

 

©C.S. Thompson, 2015.

Crackers and Bits: A Deal Is Struck

Posted in Animals, Comedy, Crackers and Bits, Family, Friendship, Fun and Entertainment, Humor, Life, Pet peeves and annoyances, Pets, Relationships, Video Clips on January 26, 2015 by Morguie

 

 

MORGUIE

MORGUIE

 

Mousie is still off the job…so I decided enough was enough…knowing how lazy the mouse can be, I decided he shouldn’t be making so many demands when he hardly deserves such a reward. I mean, c’mon Morguie, you certainly aren’t able to compete with your cousin here:

 

BAH!

Mousie says “Hey, that looks a bit abusive!”

“What?” I say.

“Does that poor little mousie in the video eventually get SOMETHING for all of the drudgery he must endure? Look at him! He’s cooking, babysitting, expected to save money, and also expected to be an instant entertainer for his owner whenever they need to see him playing basketball..”

I am sure he gets rewarded well.

“Mousie, are you ready to come back and just do your work here on this blog of ours yet?”

Mousie considers the alternative, and he especially isn’t into basketball….

“Okay…” Morguie says with a tone of resignation.

And so it ends the Mousie walk-out…and perhaps, maybe he’ll get an extra biscuit just because…

Things really wouldn’t be the same here without him.

 

mousecringe

©C.S. Thompson, 2015.

 

Crackers and Bits: Mousie Goes On Strike!

Posted in Animals, Crackers and Bits, FOOD, Fun and Entertainment, Labor disputes, Life, Luxury, Pet peeves and annoyances, Pets, Politics, Relationships, Video Clips with tags , , , , on January 22, 2015 by Morguie
mousetoadswim

C’mon Uber-Froggy! Let’s blow this joint! The injustice of it all!!!

 

 

Hi there everyone, CJ here….

Mousie is upset. He has had enough of the bad treatment and apparent deprivation he feels he is forced to exist under.

So, Morguie has ‘walked off the job.’  He says he is officially on strike until conditions improve.

 

The problem started when I caught him binge-watching animal videos on the YouTube. Remember, earlier this month, he tried to run away, attempting to get ‘across the pond’ to stay with our loyal follower, David , in Wales?

Yeah, well that was an ‘epic fail’ as they like to say…he and the Uber-froggy ended up in a Mexican immigration cell for sneaking over the border without visas. Suddenly he wanted to come home. Hmmm.

He might have made it to Wales, if only they’d had a map…

Morguie demands similar living conditions, special perks, and the basic comforts he found one of his distant cousins enjoying …in the really short clips below:

 

 

 

Really now???  

Sorry folks, Mousie might be gone for a little while, as near as I can estimate…the ‘Pizza’ is NOT going to happen. Period!

We  thank you so much for coming in to see us,  ME today. I apologize for Morguie’s bad behavior, too.

Now I am going to need every ‘like’ vote I can get if I am to hope to manage this show solo…

SO, pretty, pretty please…won’t you tap that “Like” button on your way out….and leave any thoughts you have about this strike Mousie is on, too?

 

Thanks!!!

©C. S. Thompson, 2015.

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