Archive for the Fiction Category

Crackers and Bits: Polar Bear Hunting

Posted in Animals, Comedy, Crackers and Bits, Fiction, Humor, Musing, Pet peeves and annoyances, polar bears with tags , on April 5, 2015 by Morguie

lemmling_Cartoon_mouse_on_top_of_a_cheese

Hi there everyone! Did you miss us? We were down with that nasty flu, but we feel better and we’re baaaaack!!!

Morguie: We sure missed all of you. Whatever you do, don’t catch the flu!  Catch a ball, or better yet, catch yourself a polar bear!

polarbear

PESKY, ANNOYING POLAR BEAR

 

CJ: Mousie, you have finally gone completely nuts! I would bet  99.9% of our readers have no need to know how to catch a polar bear! You are so silly!

Morguie: Hah! You don’t know for a fact, that, RIGHT now, somewhere, someone in our fantastic GLOBAL audience isn’t wondering how he or she is going to set about getting that pesky polar bear caught!

I take umbrage with your assertion!

 

I am a fuzzy lovable Polar Bear. I LOVE your POOL!

I am a fuzzy lovable Polar Bear. I LOVE your POOL! I WILL COME AND SWIM EVERYDAY!

CJ:  My goodness! Such big words from such a small mouse! Umbrage?

Morguie: Go ahead, make fun…meanwhile, I will deliver this handy tip that is easy to remember, just in case, someone has a polar bear problem needing quick action. Better to be safe than sorry. I intend to be armed with knowledge…what’s your plan, CJ?

standingPolBear

I am a BIG, BAD POLAR BEAR! I AM GOING TO VISIT C J –because she DOESN’T have a plan.  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

CJ: Okay Mousie, I will humor you…tell me then, how would I go about catching the non-existent, but very annoying polar bear, the one that doesn’t seem to be roaming my neighborhood?

You know, just in case…

Morguie: Well first, you have to go out onto the ice and cut a big, round hole. Then, you get a can of peas…

 

HOLE

HOLE — ask your mom or dad to help you with that , okay, kids?

 

 

 

CJ: WAIT! What?! Okay, I am calling the  folks over at the Macadamia Ranch. They need to come and get you. What in the world, are you proposing to do with the can of peas?

 

Everyone knows polar bears hate canned peas!

 

Haha! I got it! Tell polar bears to give peas a chance?! 

 

Hmmm. WHAT HAVE WE HERE? Aha! PEAS!!

POLAR BEAR…GIVING PEAS A CHANCE, of course.

 

Morguie: Are you quite done yet?

 

cropped-mousieoutdoorsn-e1396872036787.jpg

CJ: Sorry, go ahead. Okay,  I have the canned peas and I have the hole cut into the ice…now what?

Morguie: You spoon the peas out onto the ice — around the hole’s edge, then you hide and wait.

BIGpolarbr

 

 

 

CJ: Okay…how long should I wait?  (Sure hope not as long as it is taking to learn about catching polar bears, sheesh!)

Morguie: It’s real easy after that. You just wait until you see the polar bear taking a pea….

 

 

PolarbearLICK

EWWWW!! TASTES LIKE PEAS!!! I JUST HATE PEAS!!

 

 

…then you jump out and kick him in the ice-hole!!

the kickisGOOD

polarbearlaff

VERY FUNNY!

 

And that is how you catch a polar bear.

😛

Have a wonderful day and thanks so much for coming by!

bloodyheadbang

© C. S. Thompson, 2015.

Special Feature: An Old Classic

Posted in Cremation, Death, Fiction, Ghosts, Nature, Poetry, Relationships, Spirits, Traveling, Video Clips with tags , , , , , , on January 15, 2015 by Morguie

A Classic…the famous poem by Robert Service, The Cremation of Sam McGee” in a well-done video adaptation.

We hope you enjoy this clip… won’t you please let us know by tapping the ‘Like” button before you go?! Thank you.

We’d love to hear your thoughts, as well.

Feel free to leave us a note, we want to know what’s on your mind today, even if only just to say “Hello.”

As ever, we greatly appreciate that you took time from your busy day to visit — we’d never be here, were it not for you, our beloved reader.

 

©C.S. Thompson, 2015.

CJ Takes A Reader’s Request

Posted in Comedy, Fiction, Fictional, Fact-based Stories, Humor, Personal Opinion, Thought For Today, Wisdom with tags , , , , , on January 4, 2015 by Morguie

CJ has been asked to address an issue, by a follower, Ted,  over at Twitter. She decided to tackle this most interesting request, as gently as she could, so as not to send people away in a cold panic.

Okay, Ted. If you simply must know…

English: Dryer screen containing accumulated lint.

Dryer screen containing accumulated lint. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

One might easily believe this conclusion could be valid. However, upon closer inspection, nothing could be further from the truth.

You see, dryer lint is a gradual gathering, or harvesting, of the sock’s essential tissues. In effect, what you have here is actually a case of, well, organ stealing. There. I said it.  Every time a sock enters into that Hose zone known as the dryer, small, evil (and invisible to the eye) entities actually deploy,  going to work in excising parts from the sock-body; a sock-heart today, the sock-stomach the next time, you see where I’m going.

Don’t believe me? Go. Right now. Go open your sock drawer and examine any pair of socks. Look closely, you may detect an actual hole starting in the toe or heel of the socks. Sneaky, insidious, and oh so gradually.

English: A white sock.

A white sock. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Then, one day, the entire sock is gone. You’ll search all through that load of drying to find the mate to a single sock. Well, I am here to say, just stop looking. It is no use. You’ll never find it.

Those entities try, but rarely succeed, in taking all the ‘snatchings’ as they make their hasty getaway when the buzzer goes off. (You will notice the white bits in the lint — evidence of sock-bone snatchings they dropped as they escaped out the duct)

And that is what dryer lint is really made of.

Dryer lint is the sloppy result of thieves engaging in sneaky harvesting of sock-body parts.

12th-century cotton sock, found in Egypt. The ...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

 

I hope this will clarify things, Ted.

©C.S. Thompson, 2015.

Crackers and Bits: Silly Christmas

Posted in Animals, Celebrities, Children, Comedy, Crackers and Bits, Fiction, Fun and Entertainment, Holidays, Humor, Life, Music, Tradition, Video Clips with tags , on December 21, 2014 by Morguie

lemmling_Cartoon_mouse_on_top_of_a_cheese

 

 

Thanks for coming by!! See you later!!

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