Archive for the Future Category

The Hardest Thing I have Ever Had To Endure

Posted in Blogging, Cemetery, Death, Depression, Future, Grief, Losing A Parent, Loss, Love, Personal Crisis, Relationships on October 25, 2019 by Morguie

I’ve managed to survive more than a few “worst days of my life” in my half-century (plus) on this planet.

None of those horrific events could begin to prepare me for what would be the end of my world as I knew it.

On June 11, 2019 I lost my loving and devoted sweetheart of 22 years, LeeRoy Halley. The love of my life, the king of my heart, the very center of my little universe, and my world… had left me behind. Today I am pretty much in the same emotional and overall personal condition I was on June 11. I am utterly lost. I wish I would stop breathing.

I can’t believe he is gone forever. Everything we had planned for our near and far-flung future… everything we lived from day to day, the routine and the mundane — all of everything in our life together had been wiped clean from our slate of the life we built and shared for 22 years. ALL of it was GONE. FOREVER. And, if I ever needed my mother’s calm assurances and sage advice, it was really needed now. But, she, and my father, and other support lines I’d come to depend upon through my lifetime…all were gone. I have never felt so ALONE in my life as I do now.

I have my two precious daughters and my sister. But, as many of you know, there’s only so much you can unload on your friends and family when it comes to the painful and relentless grief over such a personal loss. So I keep myself here. At home. I go out ONLY when I must. And of course I go to the cemetery to spend time with him there. I just don’t care about much.

My readers will recall my last visit in here to post on my blog… just a little over a year ago, when my beautiful, beloved Mother passed away in 2018. That was a loss I’d never imagined would be so hard to overcome. I know, I threatened to return to tell you some wonderful things about my mom’s life. And I never did. I didn’t come back because I just felt mired in my grief and then the ensuing legalities placed in my hands regarding my duties to execute her will and deal with her trust. I just couldn’t bear to return, just yet.

Shortly after she died, in fact, it was on Thanksgiving Day of 2018, my cousin (son of my mom’s brother) died unexpectedly. We grew up together. He was a few years younger, so I was quite shocked over his death. I did my level best to assist my uncle and aunt with the funeral plans and to be by their side as they struggled to overcome the incredible shock and grief that they found themselves in. So, I was thinking 2018 was a really sucky year.

As sad as I’d been over the loss of mom, not even that comes close to the utter devastation and deep depression I find myself struggling through since my LeeRoy’s death.

So, I come back to my blog to appeal to my dear friends and readers, with much humility and sorrow. I humbly ask only for your friendship, mercy, and compassion. I need the comfort of those good people who have kindly shared their own sufferings with me and found some small bit of wisdom or perspective in my writings.

Funny, the words of my writings seem helpful enough… but they fall short of helping me through what has been the very darkest hours I have ever had to face. So, now that my life seems devoid of ‘responsibilities’ I once had: caring for and sharing life with my man, planning and plotting out our days together, and keeping our schedules and home-fires going…I have decided that maybe returning to producing some works for this blog might prove to be cathartic or helpful in moving me toward the next phase of my life….because I really haven’t been able to do that yet; not at all.

This will be my start…peace and love to you all.

 

Can You Relate To This?

Posted in Charity, Children, Family, Future, Gratitude, Hope, Inspiration, Kindness, Legacy, Life, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Planning Ahead, Relationships, Spirits, Thought For Today, Video Clips, Wisdom with tags on February 12, 2015 by Morguie

Money

This poignant clip is about saving up for a dream…and dipping into those savings along the way when life’s path was met with reasons or obstacles, emergencies or life’s unexpected kinks— to merit use of the hard-earned dream money.

I think most of us would be able to point to something in our lives that side-tracked us or put the dream on hold.

Usually, too, that thing which merited the funds diversion was something which gave us a sense of personal joy just to be able to help.

Thanks for coming by to share a thoughtful reminder that life indeed is too short.  What we make of it is everything, in the end.

I’d like to thank my sweetheart for passing this my way…to be able to share with all of you.

 

Hope you enjoy “Corvette Heaven” as much as we did!

 

Thank you,  baby.

©C.S. Thompson, 2015

If I Died Today — My Music — Song #4

Posted in Death, Eulogy, Family, Funeral, Funeral Service Professional, Future, Inspiration, Life, Losing A Parent, Loss, Memorialization, Music, My own, Planning Ahead, Pre-planning a service, Relationships, Remembrance, Thought For Today, Video Clips with tags , on August 30, 2014 by Morguie

This was the first song I decided upon, years ago…I thought it was appropriate, especially considering I was focused on becoming a funeral professional at the time. I played hell trying to find this song in print (a hard copy) and the first time I purchased it through Amazon it came from a group called “Dario” and the minute I put it into the player I realized the “Dario” version was NOT the right version. Then through the modern miracle of “You Tube” I was able to discover the RIGHT version…which of course, by then, was no longer available in the hard copy form. Timing…ah well…not to worry…more modern miracles of technology made it possible to obtain a hard copy.

 

By the way…if you have the time to discover the other music this group, Fiction Factory, made, I suggest you stay or look at the “You Tube” listings for their other work. I loved them. Too bad they were only really popular in Europe…quite talented…what a shame for us here in the States.

 

Hope you like the selection…CJ and Morguie

 

If I Died Today — My Music — Song #3

Posted in Death, Eulogy, Funeral, Funeral Service Professional, Future, Hope, Inspiration, Life, Love, Memorialization, Music, Planning Ahead, Pre-planning a service, Remembrance, Thought For Today, Video Clips on August 29, 2014 by Morguie

My third song — If I died today — would reflect my resistance to getting old, haha.

 

Thanks for coming by,  CJ and Morguie

 

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