Archive for the Ghosts Category

EPISODE 28: The Father and Son’s Day

Posted in Death, Family, Funeral, Funeral home, Ghosts, Grief, Hope, Life, Losing A Parent, Loss, Love, Mortuary, Mourning, Parenting, Relationships, Special Needs, Spirits on June 13, 2014 by Morguie

christ-the-redeemer-rio-940x626                The phone rang in the middle of the night, and on the other end was Mr. Becker, CJ’s boss and owner of the funeral home. It was a first call (death call). CJ struggled to wake up and switch on the light. Quickly she grabbed paper and pencil to jot down the information. Mr. B. wanted her to pick up the deceased at a rehabilitation center, which was nearly 70 miles away. She rushed to dress and get on the road.

Boss has me everywhere at once today!!

 

 

Rehab places are nursing homes. Sometimes folks go there to get recuperative care, physical therapy, or post-op rehabilitation before they can fully qualify for release to return home. Sometimes, they are so infirm they never manage to return home.

Most of these places do not have a morgue or refrigeration available for the patients who decease, thus making it necessary to call the funeral home to promptly come pick up the bodies.       CJ was surprised to note that the man, Mr. Jennings, was just 38 years old. Apparently, he had been in the center as a  long-term care patient. As she glanced over the information on the paperwork, she saw that he had been admitted for a life-long degenerative disease, which had been at the end-stage. CJ signed for his personal effects, the paperwork, and then collected Mr. Jennings.

 The sun had begun to come up by the time she reached the mortuary. That is when I awoke to the clatter in the prep-room. I came out to greet her, scrambling up the cord of the embalming machine, on the counter beside the sink. She was washing her hands when she noticed me perched on the porcelain edge.

“You startled me! How are you, my little furry pal?”

MORGUIE

MORGUIE

I told her I was good and she mentioned she’d been out half the night to pick up this case. She warned me to stay out of sight, before she left to return home to dress and get ready for the work day. She was kind enough to stop at her desk to get me a cracker before she disappeared.

******

A couple of hours later, as she was finishing Mr. Jennings’ embalming, the intercom line rang. Mr. Becker needed her to get ready to go on a house call. She shooed me off the utility cart I’d been standing on, watching her as she embalmed.

“Hurry! Jump into my purse if you are coming with me. Hey, stay out of sight, too. Mr. B. is going out on this one with me.”      

I did as I was told and disappeared into the inner pocket of her purse. I love to go with her on calls. But, I knew I’d better behave or Mr. B. would kill me if he saw me.

As we got into the van, Mr. B. remarked that this was going to be a long day. He went on to say that the person they were going  to pick up was Mr. Jennings, Sr.

CJ looked at him with disbelief. After all, she’d been up all night dealing with a Mr. Jennings. “Are you serious?” she asked.

******

Apparently, when the rehab center made notification of death this morning, by telephoning the father of Mr. Jennings, he essentially died of a broken heart. Within a couple of hours, his heart gave out and he dropped dead.

He had been very close to his son, visiting several times a week. The old man was acutely aware that the end was near for his beloved only son and he tried to spend as much time as he could with him. It had grieved him to have to put his son in the care home, but he could no longer manage the complications and progressing medical complexities by himself, from their home.

He was in his late seventies and with his own infirmities.

He wanted only to ensure the best care for his son, so he did what he had to do.

It was all very sad. CJ told me later, as she was embalming the senior Mr. Jennings, that this is not very unusual. She said that it mainly happens with husbands and wives, though. People who have been married for decades. Jennings, the elder, had been a widower for several years, and his son was the center of his universe.

Osborne_Funeral_hanr_t728         As the day wore on, I pondered the whole father-son connection and bond. That was quite a strong tie they had. I imagined the poor father had struggled with many sorrows, through his son’s life. From the initial dreams for his son at his birth… then hopes for those dreams being dashed in learning of the disabling disease,  adjusting family life around this situation, caring for the multitude of medical needs and crises that came and passed over the years… no doubt the burden this father carried was one of great love and sorrow, too. It must have been terrible to know his boy might one day die, while he still remained, eventually to be tasked with burying him.

*******

The best part of this story was the moving funeral service. There they were, at the front of the chapel, father, and son, together side-by-side in matching caskets made of dark cherry wood. It was beautiful, with the flowers all around, and matching casket floral arrangements of dark red roses. The celebrant spoke of the happy day the two must be enjoying in eternity; no longer encumbered by sickness or suffering for the young man and no more sorrow or worry for the father. A joyful day, certainly.  

rosebudA

 

Yes. Classic broken heart, it did him in. But in the end, I like to think that their spirits were joined that morning, and went together hand-in-hand, to that place souls go when they pass from this earthly existence.

I am convinced it was just in this way. One day, I shall know for sure.

©2014, C.S. Thompson.               christ-the-redeemer-rio-940x626

GRIEF: Will It Always Hurt So Much?

Posted in bereavement, Celebrities, Death, Funeral, Future, Ghosts, Grief, Holidays, Kindness, Life, Losing A Parent, Loss, Love, Memorialization, Mourning, Music, Musing, Pets, Philosophy, Relationships, Remembrance, Spirits, Thought For Today, Tragic death on April 23, 2014 by Morguie

sepia bench

 

So many who mourn the loss of a loved one feel a certain concern about the duration of time the pain of this grief actually lasts. How many grains of sand lie upon the beach?

Depending on your personal relationship with the special person you are grieving, it is of our most humble and extremely limited  personal experience, that the Mouse and I have decided to give our own simple answer today.

 

 

**Relationship Strength:                                            Always Hurt?

VERY CLOSELY BONDED TO DECEASED                YES

 

DURATION OF HURT OR LONGING?                 FOREVER

 

EASE OR LESSEN OVER TIME?             Definite Maybe

HOW MUCH TIME?                               unknown

 

 

 

All others, please adjust according to degree of attachment. These are not scientific or tested estimates…results will vary among each individual, as each loss is unique, and around each loss WE have unique needs which are left void due to the loss. We also believe the further removed or lesser attached you are, the less likely the pain and duration, if any, to this loss. This is based on the degree of your investment, that degree to which you will be affected by the loss.

 **Good rule of thumb to remember:

No investment made =  No loss actualized

 

No amount of money, fortune, or fame will change your result or ease the suffering of grief. No bargaining, begging, or level of ignoring it will change the core of it, either.

 

We wish to apologize about any vagueness or lack of clarity.  That’s the best we can offer. We hope this can be helpful in some small way.  Perhaps it helps MORE just to know that there are so many people just like YOU, who grieve, and cry in longing for a much-loved and sorely missed cherished one. We wish comfort for you.

 

We would like to end the thought of our post today with a video we had bookmarked and re-discovered in our junk folders on the home pc. Certainly not “junk” by any stretch. Just a brother’s reflection and true emotion, as he speaks of the loss of his cherished brothers, who together all happened to become worldwide music legends, beloved by millions, CJ notwithstanding.

 

 

Peace and comforting hugs to our friends, one and all.

 

xxx CJ  and Morguie xxx

 

©2014, C.S. Thompson.

04/22/2014

Glad You Stopped By

Posted in bereavement, Cemetery, Death, Fiction, FOOD, Friendship, Funeral, Ghosts, Gratitude, Grief, Halloween, History, Holidays, Inspiration, Life, Losing A Parent, Loss, Love, Memorialization, Mourning, Movies, Music, Musing, Relationships, Remembrance, Spirits, Thought For Today, Tradition with tags , , , , , , on March 12, 2014 by Morguie

 

We love it when someone takes even a minute of their day to visit with us. That makes us pretty special…or YOU, might be lost?

Did you ever make an impromptu visit, or a stop  to “say hi” that you really felt glad about making, afterward? Well that’s exactly the way we felt by the time this clip came to it’s close. 

It’s another gem…we hope you love it, too.

It left us with a happy heart.

We’re always happy to see you…

…so, thanks for making our day…

…again!

big xx xx big xx xx

hugs to all —

Morguie and C J

© C. S. Thompson, 2014.

)

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Dead People: Crypt of The Capuchin Monks

Posted in Cemetery, Death, Funeral, Future, Ghosts, Gratitude, History, Inspiration, Life, Memorialization, Mortuary, Musing, Poetry, Relationships, Spirits, Thanatology, Thought For Today, Tradition with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2014 by Morguie
Capela dos Ossos in Évora

Capela dos Ossos in Évora (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Capela dos ossos en Faro, capital del Algarve,...

Capela dos ossos en Faro, capital del Algarve, Portugal. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

There is a sacred space in the catacombs of Rome — an ossuary (a chest, building, well, or site made to serve as the final resting place of human skeletal remains–wikipedia) which is dedicated as the tomb for possibly 4000 Capuchin clerics. Much can be found regarding how these bones came to be placed within this extensive tunnel- lined underground burial place, and we have included some links, below.

Additionally, there are SEVERAL other locations with similar crypts, one in particular which holds a significant inscripted poem, beseeching the visitors to think about death. Capela dos Ossos in Portugal, serves to remind us of our mere mortality and temporary station in the world as humans.

 

Capela dos ossos' entrance warning ("We b...

Capela dos ossos’ entrance warning (“We bones, lying here, for yours we wait”) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Our goal was more to point out the interesting poem that can be found within the walls of this place.

We felt that was more thought-provoking and appropriate to the subject of the meaning of life, and death, and where we figure in the scheme of things when each of us gets down to it, really.

We felt it was trying to tell us, as we looked at the eerie bones stacked up along the walls, and into the fleshless skulls piled high: Hey YOU, do not hurry past us so quickly! Your curiosity brought you this far, now stay a minute and LOOK at US! SEE us? YES! We are dead, and you, my friends, shall be dead too, someday. Yes, it IS an uncomfortable thought isn’t it? But we want you to slow down and think about who we were, what we were, what we did in life, what we contributed to the world as living human beings—then we want you to think about what YOU are doing with your own life, with your own gifts, and what you are giving to your own world around you. Are you making the best of what you have and doing what you ought? The longer you pause to ponder these things here, the wiser you shall be, the better you shall hope, the better you shall live out your days afterward…

We are crediting the

following to the Wikipedia where it included a number of pages dedicated to this place and its history, and this wonderful, solemn poem—in the original Italian along with an English translation:

English: Evora, Capela dos Ossos (Church of bo...

English: Evora, Capela dos Ossos (Church of bones) detail (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Capela dos Ossos

Capela dos Ossos (Photo credit: G_Morales)

 

 

Inside the Capela dos Ossos a poem about the need to reflect on one’s existence hangs in an old wooden frame on one of the pillars. It is attributed to Fr. António da Ascenção Teles, parish priest of the village of São Pedro (wherein the Church of Saint Francis with its Capela dos Ossos was erected) from 1845 to 1848.

Aonde vais, caminhante, acelerado?
Pára…não prossigas mais avante;
Negócio, não tens mais importante,
Do que este, à tua vista apresentado.

Recorda quantos desta vida têm passado,
Reflecte em que terás fim semelhante,
Que para meditar causa é bastante
Terem todos mais nisto parado.

Pondera, que influido d’essa sorte,
Entre negociações do mundo tantas,
Tão pouco consideras na morte;

Porém, se os olhos aqui levantas,
Pára…porque em negócio deste porte,
Quanto mais tu parares, mais adiantas.

por Padre António da Ascenção

Where are you going in such a hurry traveler?
Stop … do not proceed;
You have no greater concern,
Than this one: that on which you focus your sight.

Recall how many have passed from this world,
Reflect on your similar end,
There is good reason to reflect
If only all did the same.

Ponder, you so influenced by fate,
Among the many concerns of the world,
So little do you reflect on death;

If by chance you glance at this place,
Stop … for the sake of your journey,
The more you pause, the further on your journey you will be.

by Fr. António da Ascenção (translation by Fr. Carlos A. Martins, CC)

©2014, C.S. Thompson.

 

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