The holidays are often a dreaded time of year for many folks ( C J too!) so we need to keep our cool, keep ourselves grounded, try to remember not to go bonkers ‘medicating’ with over-spending, over-doing, over-eating, over-indulging in the drink, prescription drugs, or shutting ourselves away from the festivities.
WE HOPE YOU’LL LOOK AT THIS VIDEO…IT IS SOOOOO PERFECT, we really could have left it stand alone.
Remember Kids, it ain’t nuthin’ but STUFF…it’s the people you spend the good times with that you will look back on fondly and cherish memories of…and once those folks have left our earthly, worldly presence, that’s what’s left, too.
I have long battled the ‘holiday blues.’ It began in the 1980s, after my maternal grandparents died and I was a young adult. They seemed to have been the holiday glue, the nucleus of our family holidays. Once they were gone and us kids were grown, it all dissolved or crumbled and blew away like a fine, powdery dust on a window’s sill. We lived in the same town. Even aunt, uncle, and cousins did, too. Those special times all together were truly some of the happiest, best-loved days of my life. Gone forever, now…weird.
My childhood was over at about the same time. I had some tough lessons to learn about the ‘magic’ of being an 18-year-old in the ‘real’ world…with many more to come, in the years that would follow.
The holidays never seemed the same. And life NEVER felt normal after the devastation caused by the tragic accident which forever changed our family…changed Daddy, changed us as human beings in April 1999…changed ME, my outlook, my attitude, my joie d’vivre or lack thereof, mostly, even after he died in 2010, only until recently. Then other black clouds came along. Depression like that does tend to suck the life right out of a body; it feels like that to me, anyhow.
It’s better now, but I have days that I feel low…all of us do.
We have to remember to ‘live’ as best we can — we owe it to ourselves; after all, we are still here…we are survivors.
We have to remember, too, that our grief, though personal and painful as it may be, IS uniquely ours, HOWEVER:
— we need to let others try to comfort us, even though they may hesitate to find the ‘proper’ semantics, syntax, or tone of voice we won’t feel offended by. They are only showing that they care. Forgive them, give a hug; they love us— they just don’t understand and it is pretty awkward—we haven’t always known what this was like, either.
— we need to do our best to honor our cherished loved ones by enjoying the time we can spend with our families and friends; by living with quality and not by quantity. How would they wish for us to truly BE, LIVE ? Are we honoring them, by the tears and isolation…the self-imposed exile from life?
— it IS easier to say than it is to do, but trying, just a baby step at a time, is how progress gets made for any effort that is worth making. Take only a small step if it feels okay on your own. Also, it is okay to reach for a hand, to hold, to help. It’s okay if you don’t feel up to doing so much today. Try some more tomorrow. Just don’t isolate yourself. Please.
This is what I hope to be able to do, for myself, and I’m grateful to have a family to help support me through it.
It is my wish for you, too, if that is what you are hoping to do as well. The little Mousie and I are grateful for your kindness and support and hugs. We want you to know we are here for you, too.
©2013, C.S. Thompson.