Archive for Grief Loss and Bereavement

Reflections On This Significant Day

Posted in Death with tags , on July 29, 2015 by Morguie
Daddysgrave

Today especially…because I lost my precious father, July 29, 2010… on this 5th Anniversary of his death…grieving the loss of his presence and loving guidance, his wisdom and compassion…his voice, his thoughts, and our long talks about everything important in life…my heart is heavy at this very hour…this, the hour of day he left our world. I keep his memory alive, recalling his part in my life, in some way, each and every day. I miss you Daddy and hope you might somehow feel the love and admiration—the profound gratitude for the incredible father you were— I hold you dearly within my heart as I think of you now and forever. I love you Daddy…I still need you, too. I always will…

Mr Holland, mentor   R.I.P.

I gratefully remember Mr. H.K. Holland, my mentor and professional role model, who died July 29, 2004 — May he rest in peace…I miss him and think of him often…appreciating his faith and confidence in me to give me a chance to realize my dream, for always believing in me, encouraging me, even when I wasn’t so sure at times that I would be able to achieve it.

and today I celebrate the special man who has been beside me through nearly two decades of tragedy, loss, disappointments...more than that, he has been the center of my universe, source of strength, comfort, and so very much joy that makes my life  so full..so beautiful...so filled with love. Happy Birthday, my precious LeeRoy...

…and today I celebrate the special man who possesses my very heart — such a wonderful man, who has been beside me through nearly two decades of tragedy, loss, disappointments…more than that, he has been the center of my universe, source of strength, comfort, and so very much of the joy that makes my life so full..so beautiful…so filled with love.
Happy Birthday, my precious LeeRoy…I will love you, always…you are the king of my heart.

I have been blessed beyond measure to have had each of these awesome men in my life…the three most important men, most dear to me, most loved and admired by me, closest in my heart to me…it is mystifying and incredible, too…that they all have this day in common, and I believe it was no accident that makes this so.

© 2015, C.S. Thompson.

Thought For Today: “Character”

Posted in bereavement, Death, Divorce, Friendship, Funeral Service Professional, Gratitude, Grief, History, Inspiration, Life, Mourning, Musing, Philosophy, Thought For Today, Traffic Accident, Tragic death, Wisdom with tags on May 8, 2014 by Morguie

 

MORGUIE

MORGUIE

 

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them

defines my character and the quality of my life.

I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness,

immobilized by the gravity of my loss,

or I can choose to rise from the pain

and treasure the most precious gift I have —

life itself.”

—–    Walter Anderson

CJ says:    Who is this guy? He obviously knows about me!

Well…Mr. Anderson: I cannot lie. I struggle to really find

my way back to the girl I once was; tragic events and other serious life-altering

situations seem to have made me into someone else.

I realize I cannot have the happiness and joy and lightness as before;

as when in more youthful, carefree, trouble-free days…

but I do know that living in isolation and in a lack of joy is slowly killing me.

So, Mr. Anderson, I concur.  I simply cannot put this off any longer.

I simply, and absolutely, MUST….

start to live in spite of the pain of my grief.

I mean…what do I have to lose, anyway?

Exactly.

If any of my fine friends reading this today also finds himself in this place…

just know that you are among friends here.

cemeteryguard

Truthfully, it hurts to discover that life is passing you by,

while you are ‘stuck’ in this sort of limbo.

Yes….I believe I must find some way to live, now.

Have a beautiful day everyone!

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The Price of Love

Posted in bereavement, Death, Funeral, Funeral home, Grief, Holidays, Life, Losing A Parent, Loss, Love, Memorialization, Mourning, Pets, Relationships, Remembrance, Tragic death with tags on February 18, 2014 by Morguie

OK, get ready for some of the most real words you’ve seen, pouring straight from the deepest place in a heart where grief lives. Bring a tissue.

 

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Open Casket

What is the price of love?  Is it the $79.95 you pay to eHarmony or Match.com for X amount of time on their website?  Is it the cost of flowers on Valentine’s Day?  Is it that new pair of soccer cleats for your son that he just has to have?  Is it the cost of end of life care for a dying pet?  Is it the difference between cremation and burial?  Is it buying the top of the line casket when your husband dies?

No.  It’s none of these things.

The cost of love is grief.

Today, a girl buried her nineteen year old fiancé.  They were engaged on Christmas Day of 2013 and on Valentine’s Day of 2014, she put him in the ground forever.

Grief is the highest price you can pay for anything.  It doesn’t end, and anyone who tells you that it does is full…

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When I Get Where I’m Goin’

Posted in bereavement, Death, Gratitude, Grief, Holidays, Life, Losing A Parent, Loss, Mourning, Pets, Remembrance, Traffic Accident, Tragic death, Veterans with tags , on December 12, 2013 by Morguie

The holidays are often a dreaded time of year for many folks ( C J too!) so we need to keep our cool, keep ourselves grounded, try to remember not to go bonkers ‘medicating’ with over-spending, over-doing, over-eating, over-indulging in the drink, prescription drugs, or shutting ourselves away from the festivities.

WE HOPE YOU’LL LOOK AT THIS VIDEO…IT IS SOOOOO PERFECT, we really could have left it stand alone.
DaddysgraveRemember Kids, it ain’t nuthin’ but STUFF…it’s the people you spend the good times with that you will look back on fondly and cherish memories of…and once those folks have left our earthly, worldly presence, that’s what’s left, too.

I have long battled the ‘holiday blues.’  It began in the 1980s, after my maternal grandparents died and I was a young adult. They seemed to have been the holiday glue, the nucleus of our family holidays. Once they were gone and us kids were grown, it all dissolved or crumbled and blew away like a fine, powdery dust on a window’s sill.  We lived in the same town. Even aunt, uncle, and cousins did, too. Those special times all together were truly some of the happiest, best-loved days of my life. Gone forever, now…weird.

 My childhood was over at about the same time. I had some tough lessons to learn about the ‘magic’ of being an 18-year-old in the ‘real’ world…with many more to come, in the years that would follow.

The holidays never seemed the same. And life NEVER felt normal after the devastation caused by the tragic accident which forever changed our family…changed Daddy, changed us as human beings in April 1999…changed ME, my outlook, my attitude, my joie d’vivre or lack thereof, mostly, even after he died in 2010, only until recently. Then other black clouds came along. Depression like that does tend to suck the life right out of a body; it feels like that to me, anyhow.

It’s better now, but I have days that I feel low…all of us do. 

We have to remember to ‘live’ as best we can — we owe it to ourselves; after all, we are still here…we are survivors.

We have to remember, too, that our grief, though personal and painful as it may be, IS uniquely ours, HOWEVER:

— we need to let others try to comfort us, even though they may hesitate to find the ‘proper’ semantics, syntax, or tone of voice we won’t feel offended by. They are only showing that they care. Forgive them, give a hug; they love us— they just don’t understand and it is pretty awkward—we haven’t always known what this was like, either.

— we need to do our best to honor our cherished loved ones by enjoying the time we can spend with our families and friends; by living with quality and not by quantity. How would they wish for us to truly BE, LIVE ? Are we honoring them, by the tears and isolation…the self-imposed exile from life?

— it IS easier to say than it is to do, but trying, just a baby step at a time, is how progress gets made for any effort that is worth making. Take only a small step if it feels okay on your own. Also, it is okay to reach for a hand, to hold, to help. It’s okay if you don’t feel up to doing so much today. Try some more tomorrow. Just don’t isolate yourself. Please.

This is what I hope to be able to do, for myself, and I’m grateful to have a family to help support me through it.

It is my wish for you, too, if that is what you are hoping to do as well. The little Mousie and I are grateful for your kindness and support and hugs. We want you to know we are here for you, too.

©2013, C.S. Thompson.

me09282013

MORGUIE

MORGUIE

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